Welcome to “Here Comes the Judge”, Episode #58 of Co-creating Peace, a podcast series about conscious communication and conflict transformation.
Have you ever noticed yourself writing a story in your head about something that has happened in the world or in your life? For example, think about the events of January 6th. What stories did you write in your head about the people involved or their motivations for doing what they did. What judgements came up for you? Even if you know someone who was there and they told you what their motivations were, that is only one person of the thousands who were there, and the truth for each of them might be different and there is no way for any of us to possibly know their truth unless we’ve asked them. But yet, it’s so easy and – in a way – perfectly natural for us to fill in the blanks in our information with our assumptions and our judgements. Our brain wants to know the whole story, and when it doesn’t have that information, it will fill in the gaps with assumptions based on the way that we see the world – our frame of reference.
Or what about when someone doesn’t respond to an email? Our first assumption is that they received our email. Our second assumption is that just because we didn’t receive an email reply, they must not have sent one. Then we start thinking, “I guess I’m not important enough to bother responding to”. Or, “They must not want to collaborate with me.” Or something else along those lines. Then, based on our assumptions, we think, “What a jerk!” or “How arrogant!”
Here comes the judge!
We become the judge, the jury, or both, and from there, we render the verdict and impose the sentence. In the case of those who participated in the events of January 6th, depending on whose actions we judge to be right or wrong, we determine in our own minds what should happen next. All this based on what we may have heard on the news or by word of mouth, without having actually heard the “testimony” – as it were – of those we are judging.
In the case of the person we’ve determined to be guilty of not replying to our email, our verdict may be something like “That’s it then! I’m done with them!” Then we become the executioner and sever our relationship with them.
We judge and condemn them, and even execute the sentence, all without even knowing whether or not they received our email, or – if they did – whether or not they responded.
Joining me again is Michael Lightweaver, to share his observations and remedies for this all-too-common phenomenon.
You may recall that Michael Lightweaver was with us for Episode 9, when we talked about the power of deeply hearing others. Our conversation today is related in many ways.
Michael has led a long and interesting life of service to humanity. Among his many accomplishments, in 2002 he founded the International Institute for Global Leadership, an internet-based study program, whose primary mission is to provide a tuition-free education to individuals who wish to become high-integrity, heart-centered and conscious leaders in their communities and the world.
Michael now serves as the steward of the Mountain Light Sanctuary a spiritual retreat center in a remote mountain cove near Asheville, North Carolina where he offers guidance sessions to those who seek him out.
Michael has also published 3 books: The World According to Michael, A Day of Grace, and Conscious Creation 101.
You can learn more about the International Institute for Global Leadership by going to www.global-leadership.com. You can learn more about the Mountain Light Sanctuary by going to www.mountainlightsanctuary.com . You can contact Michael through that website as well. You’ll find all of Michael’s books available on Amazon.